Busted, by S. G.

   It was a hazy Friday afternoon and it was also Back-to-School B.B.Q. night. The 2:45 bell rang and the kids came out of the classrooms as free as the birds flying around the sky. I saw my daughter walking toward me.
   “Hi, my dear young lady. How’s your day?” I asked.
   “Mom, did you know one of my classmates, Nicolas, got into big trouble?” she said in an excited tone.
   “What happened?” I asked.
   She started the story. “He pushed the other girl off the monkey bar…” She was a good storyteller. It sounded like she was right there when the accident happened.
   “Mom, I got a green card today,” my son hugged me and said this at the same time. In the school system, if you have a good day, you will get a green card, but if you make a bad choice, then you’ll get a yellow card. If you keep making a bad choice, you will get a red card and your parents will receive a phone call from the teacher, He was happy and had a good day.
   “Good job, Benjamin,” I replied and gave him a high five. T.G.I. Friday.
I saw the kids playing on the grass. I wish I had their energy. I checked the time—it was 5:00 in the afternoon. It was time to go to the Back-to-School B.B.Q.
   “Mom,” a tiny voice appeared behind my back.
   “Yes, Victoria, what can I do for you?” I asked.
   “I forgot to tell you I got a yellow card today,” she said. “But Mom, I was innocent. I asked my group’s girls to stop bothering me at the very same moment Miss Lee told us to move the yellow card.”
   Oh boy, Mommy’s reaction test is here! “Victoria, why didn’t you tell me as soon as you saw me?” I asked with an upset voice. I was holding my temper and I said, “I thought we had an agreement about telling the truth.”
   “I know that, but I forgot it,” she said. “I tried to tell you when I first saw you, but the accident messed up what I planned to do.” She rolled her innocent eyes.
   My goodness, she has planned everything. She is as guilty as the cat who knocked over the fish bowl. What shall I do to teach her a lesson but not hurt her? “My Buddha, give me wisdom to handle this hot potato,” I prayed in my heart.
   “Victoria, first of all, the first thing is the first thing. You have no excuse to forget to tell me before you go into the accident. Second, if you think you are innocent, did you find a chance to tell Miss Lee your side of the story?” I said with my calm voice.
   “I was afraid,” she said.
   I asked her, “Afraid of what, my dear?” I held her hand and looked into her eyes.
   “Hi, Mrs. G. and Victoria!”
   Who would that be, I wondered. “Oh, hi, Miss Lee!” I said. I could feel Victoria try to wriggle her hands out of my hands right at that moment! I held one of her hands tightly.
   Miss Lee and I started chatting about everything but class work.
   I said, “Victoria, Mommy’s here for you. I remember you have something to tell Miss Lee.” Miss Lee and I made eye contact.
   Miss Lee said, “Yes, Victoria?”
   Victoria’s face turned into an uncomfortable color. She said nothing.
(You’re busted!) I still held her hand and tried to encourage her to tell Miss Lee her alibi. Her eyes looked down at the floor. My poor girl! What a mean Mom I was. I said to Miss Lee, “About her moving the card…” I finished her story for her.
   “Victoria, I already had given your group two warnings before I asked your group to move the card,” Miss Lee said.
   Victoria looked up at her eyes and said, “I know that. I am sorry, Miss Lee.” She knew that the whole time. How could she say she was innocent in front of me? I lost my patience, but when my eyes looked at Victoria’s, her eyes filled with fear.
   I took a big deep breath, held her gently and said, “Time to get some food. I am hungry, what about you, young lady?” She nodded her head silently.
   The evening event went by, we had fun. It was time to head home. She held my hand and said to Daddy, “I want to ride home with Mom. Benjamin goes with you, okay, Dad?” Dad and I exchanged eye contact.
   “Sure, you have fun with Mom,” Dad said. We walked silently in the empty parking lot.
   “Mom thank you for taking me to the B.B.Q. night. I did have fun, sort of.” Victoria said.
   “What do you mean ‘sort of’?” I asked.
   “Mom, sorry I didn’t tell you the whole truth. You must be so mad at me, right?” she said.
   “Yes, my dear young lady. But who is the one who needs to face the truth at the end? It must be so hard for you to wait and wonder, ‘What if Mom finds out the truth?’” I said.
   “Oh, yes, for this you are right. “ she said in a relieved tone.
   I said, “Victoria, did you learn a good lesson today?”
   She looked at me and asked, “About moving the card? I did learn something, just like Daddy said before: Always tell the truth, then you won’t need to remember what lies you said and worry about when the truth will be revealed.” She said, “Mom, I am really sorry for the whole thing. How did you find out I didn’t tell the whole truth?” she asked. “What a silly I am. Of course my Mom knows everything, right?” she answered for me. She started skipping in the empty parking lot. She sure learned some lesson today.
   “Mom, I love you. You are the best mom in the whole wide universe,” she shouted out loudly.
   “I love you, too, my dear Victoria G.,” I shouted to her, too.
   Oh my goodness. What if I didn’t take my deep breath? Would I still be the best mom? Being a parent is not an easy job. Patience and understanding are two important skills.
   Thank you, my Buddha. With your help, I passed today’s challenge. Please keep guiding me in the right way.
 

The Heart in My Hair by S. G.

   Take responsibility for the mistakes you make—it seems so difficult for this idea to sink into a kid’s mind.
   My daughter is eight years old. She loves to play with my barrettes. Last Friday, she was fooling around in my bathroom again. Ten minutes later, she came to me with a sad puppy face and said, “Mom, I am so sorry. I broke your barrette.” It was my favorite one, and she knew it.
   I felt upset, but I still said, “Thank you for telling me the truth. It must have been hard for you to make the decision to tell me. It is okay.”
   You can tell she was relieved. I gave her a hug. She ran along to play.
   I was thinking at that moment that it was not done yet. I needed to do something to finish up. I took the broken barrette with me and talked to her. I said, “Victoria, I know you are sorry about what you did. If I were you, I would try to find a way to make myself more responsible by trying to fix it. I know it may not be possible to fix it. You can wait until Daddy comes home and ask him to take you to the place where I originally got it. Maybe the boss can fix it for you!”
   She thought for a while and smiled and said, “It is a good idea.” Now I felt that she was a lot happier.
   When Daddy came home, she told him what she had done and started to say, “Will just you and me go or will the whole family go?”
   Daddy said, “Go where?”
   She said, “Mom didn’t tell you on the cell?” Yeah! Mom is always telling on the kids. Which I did, but he didn’t reveal the secret. “To the market to get the barrette fixed,” she said in an obvious tone.
   Daddy said, “Young lady, did you ask me to take you to the market? You cannot assume I will take you there. You need to ask me.” Daddy really made her go through with asking him to take her to the market, and planning what she would do if it can’t be fixed, and how much money she would need to take from her piggy bank.
   My son is 6 ½ years old. He was there the whole time, listening and watching. When my daughter took her piggy bank out to get the money, he offered to help her pay for it. She said, “Benjamin, thank you for your offer. It is my responsibility to pay for it.” What more can a parent ask for! There were tears on my cheek.
   We went to the marketplace. She was hesitant and I held her hand. She asked with a tiny voice, “I broke my mom’s barrette that she bought from you. Can you fix it for me?”
   The man had no idea what was going on. He might have even been wondering what kind of Mom I was. I gave the man the brief story about why we were here.
   He said to my daughter, “Sweety, I am sorry, it cannot be fixed. But it is my product and I take responsibility for my products. I don’t have the exact same one, but I have other similar ones. You can choose one for you Mom for free.”
   At that moment, I felt so grateful. He is just an acquaintance, but he understood how important it was for me to teach my kid how to be a responsible person.
   She spent a while picking the one she liked. She said to me, “Mom, these three are my favorites. Which one do you like?”
   I picked the heart-shaped one. I asked her, “Do you know why I picked the heart-shaped one?” She shook her head. “Because I am so proud that you took care of the mistake you made. You have a good heart. Later when you make mistakes again, it can encourage you to take responsibility for what you have done.”
   On the way home, she fell asleep in the car. I looked at her peaceful face. How lucky we are! She has such a good heart. That night in my prayer, I said to my Buddha, “Thank you so much for everything today! The man in the marketplace, the man I married, without them this lesson would have been so difficult to teach. Please my Buddha, keep guiding me, my husband, and my kids to the bright side of life!”

Last update: December 14, 2006